"Do my will and ye shall know my doctrine" John 7:17

Dear Family-

I'm in Tallahassee now! I cannot tell you how different it is- totally different world/experience than the first year of my mission my whole world is different but my work and my purpose is the same so i'm just fine. I have actually NEVER been anywhere like Tallahassee before- the college part of it with all the campuses and restaurants and city parts reminds me of Provo which is weird because I feel like my "college life" is a dream and I have really just been a missionary my whole life- so its weird haha. but the other parts? wow...hoods. a lot of ghetto areas oh dad you would die if you saw some of the areas we go into!! so would you mom- it is a whole other world like I have never seen before and we are the only 2 white girls in it and we have skirts and name-tags to complete it ha- its crazy!! I know if I were not a set apart missionary I would never be in this place but because I am I get to and I love that- its amazing. I love these people!!!! I fell in love with them! and I'm glad i did because leaving Gulf breeze and those people that i gave my heart to was HARD. Hernandez's was hard. Jaecy was hard..sis. stubbs. Carla...I didnt cry saying goodbye to anyone until her- i was fine until i walked down the steps of her trailer and looked behind me at her in the doorway holding braedon- sobs just rose out of me I could not control! I ran back to her and she started sobbing too it was pretty bad- i thought my heart would burst- she has changed so much! she said, "Im gonna prove you right sis. B! Im gonna prove you right and make you proud and not give up. God wont give up on me either." she will be okay i just told her how much i love her. always will.

However- I was ready to leave and have a new adventure and go where God wants me and where people need me- i felt great peace as I prayed and relied on God he gave me strength. Also some more news- I didnt know until transfers- but I am actually the head sister training leader along with my companion sis. Harris. we are basically the female AP's of the mission and over all the sisters (that is how its been described to me) and our responsibilities include not only training the sisters in our zone, but training all the other sister training leaders of the mission! we also work closely with the mission president and His wife, the AP's, and teach at zone conferences and attend the leadership meetings. what an honor- so much work and responsibility- I cannot express how busy we are and how much we do in addition to our missionary work responsibilities working with all the sisters- but I LOVE IT!!!! 

The Lord knows me well- he knows what I need- this leadership responsibility motivates me and helped me to be excited to leave Gulf Breeze and take on this new world- how President put it- "this is going to change your mission experience." leadership. I love it. I am fully incapable without the Lord and rely on Him fully- I cannot stress this enough!! I would be lost without His blessings and the guidance and direction and inspiration of His Spirit. But I am honored and humbled for this leadership opportunity and trust. It has caused me to really step up my game- the Lord has let me know how I can improve- we need to be model, ideal, example sister missionaries because literally every sister in this mission looks to us as an example and sister Harris is AMAZING- exactly obedient to EVERY mission rule- there is nothing we let slide or be sloppy i have never lived to tightly in and regimented in my life. we even wake up earlier than everyone else just so we are exactly on time. we work 13 hour days...at first i was panicked and felt i could never truly live this way everyday-  but I made a decision- I would not be called to this position if I couldn't do it- God is trying to mld me and He does this through asking us to submit our will and obey him in ALL THINGS- so I got on my knees, cried, prayed, and prayed and prayed. I asked Him to strengthen me and told Him I was willing to do it if He would just be by my side the whole time and help me love the people and find the people he sent me here for. then I got up and wow- did He show forth His power!! He has never left my side since. I feel enhanced patience, and my headaches have subsided, He literally has enhanced my endurance and attitude and mental clarity. And on top of that? We have already seen miracles!! 

I love sister Harris she is incredible- our apartment is only one room, one bathroom and a kitchen. I love sister Harris and we are such good friends that we truly strengthen each other. We have less time than other sisters to work- and sis. Harris was worried our area would suffer but I said that God would bring us people and help us in our work as He sees us doing our other responsibilities- and He did!! we received a referral saturday night- her name is LaShawn- and guess what?! she came to church the next day and after church we had the Plan of Salvation lesson with her and it went AMAZING!! I have never seen such a powerful lesson- she is SO prepared. 

I sat with her all day in church and we just talked and talked and I just fell in love her! we have another appointment with her Wednesday. Miraculous. Humbling. Incredible. This is God's work- I love being a part of it. At the end of the lesson she was baffled and said she had been looking for these answers for 10 years and couldnt believe we just answered them all. we have sisters on FSU campus and they gave her bf our card which is how she got ahold of us!! at the end of the lesson she gave the prayer- the most beautiful prayer i have ever heard, it was like a whisper..and she cried the whole time- after we were hugging and she looked at me and said, "I swear I know your face- I know you from somewhere...I know your face" i just looked at her and sister Harris pointed to the picture of the Spirit world and she cried and said, "oh sista I knew you there!!" and she cried and hugged me more. wow. LaShawn is a young, beautiful black woman with a 2 yr old daughter. I love her. There are many other stories but I am out of time. 

 We are not taking a break for Christmas we decided we are going to make a list of lonely people here and spend all day seeing all of them- I am SO EXCITED!! we are going to find the mr. Kreugers of tallahassee :))) also! funny story- we were going to contact another referral (we get tons :) and on our way there we were shocked to see a police man there arresting her for battery!! she wasnt there but we gave him her info so he could find her...haha welcome to Tallahassee!! guess we wont be teaching her...haha we had a good laugh. I really want pictures and letters from yall- my new address is:

1900 Centre Pointe Blvd. #213

Tallahassee, FL 32308

we also volunteer at a shelter that gives out free groceries to homeless people- we do it 2 hours every sat- I have NEVER seen such poverty- I felt in another world it made me cry to see person after person, family after family in the cold, and have to check them in, and see their joy and gratitude after receiving a bag of food- it made me cry. I love this work though. My favorite thing to be called is "Sis. B" other than mom or wife- I think 'Sis. B" will always be my favorite title because of the people who have called me by that name. I love you all and look forward to skyping with you next week. Merry Christmas! I love you family so much.

Sis. B

"My Cup Runneth Over"

Dearest Family-

 It's official- I am being transferred to Tallahassee to be a Sister Training Leader!! Also I will be reunited with my beloved Sister Treiber! :D It feels so right! I am excited for this leadership position and the spirit has been preparing me to leave my beloved gulf Breeze for 6 weeks so I have said my goodbyes all along.  

We had a baptism and let me tell you- it was AMAZING!! The Spirit was sooo strong....I have never known such joy. truly. truly. to see Lisa be baptized and to see her progression in just 6 weeks from start to finish? this is truly a gospel of change. This tells me the Lord accepts our service here and is pleased with our work- it also leaves me motivated to be even better and be an even better missionary for such a Gracious Glorious God. Words fail to convey the smallest part of what I feel- my cup runneth over. this sunday Laura and Lisa received the Holy Ghost and were welcomed in as the newest members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- truly Christs church restored in full to the earth! I felt such peace and joy and Heavenly Fathers joy, and I just felt so humbled and overcome with the Spirit. Lisa was so happy and her son is so excited to be baptized in March. Also another miracle- my dear friends the Stubbs surprised me at the baptism by bringing their sweet 16 month old adopted daughter Makena!! To see Sis. Stubbs do what she does best- be a mother- I could not stop crying for joy for her. What a miracle to see her as a mother and to see her righteous desires she so deserves fulfilled. I love her so much and her daughter Makena is BEAUTIFUL. I can truly leave in peace. I will be saying goodbye and taking pictures with everyone all day.

Also I got to sing one last time- I sang the First Noel- I was grateful for the Spirit and power I felt while singing- I know I wouldn't be able to sing without the Spirit. 

   Some other amazing things happened this last week- we went to dinner with some young women, Ari and Kara they are both seniors and my dear friends. Ari wants to serve a mission and kara is considering it- they were asking us lots of questions and for advice but the amazing part was when kara said, "I want to serve a mission but I have a problem- I have to work out everyday. I can't let that go." ha! I couldn't help but laugh! She sounded jussssttttttt like me before my mission- and I knew the Lord had placed me here with her to be able to help her overcome a struggle so near and dear to my heart- I testified and shared with her how I came to let that go, and realized the eternal perspective and how we are given a body to be on earth to progress so to let your body which is a gift from god hold you back from spiritually progressing...that makes no sense! man she was riveted- she was listening. then at the end she was just silent. "that makes perfect sense..." she said then she was just looking down and we all carried on with other conversation. Well 2 days ago I got a text from her saying that what was said that night what what she needed to hear and it really resonated in her and silenced her fears and answered her question, she said, "I know I need to serve a mission. I will." I was so touched...so overjoyed because I know that she just made the best decision of her life. When faith overcomes fear progression ensues. 

I recently got a blessing- in it it said, "Do not stress about your future- He is in it." when I heard this I felt a power enter into my whole soul that drew tears from my eyes because I could feel the reality of this truth...the Spirit truly bore witness to me of that. He went on to say that, "You are serving here and now because the Lord needs you here and now," Oh to be needed and used by the Lord! That is among my greatest desires and joys....He again repeated that I need not stress about the future because I am doing what He needs me to do, and as I strive to be celestial and submit my will and love His Children as Christ did- "blessings will ensue and you will see miracles in your areas and in yourself. Your Heavenly Father wishes you to be comforted of the future and wants you to know He is taking care of you. He is proud of you. He loves you. Blessings will come." wow. this was especially amazing to hear because of the phrasing that "he is taking care of you". Weeks previously I was in deep prayer with God concerning matters of my heart after grandpa's passing, which was truly one of the most painful difficult times in my life, I remember distinctly asking God, "Why do you want me to just take care of your Kids- who is taking care of me?" well....this was a pretty direct response to that. And He has shown me in a million other ways just how silly that question was! I will never question that again. 

 i will give you my new address next week. I love you all tons. I want you to know I have a estimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. I just want to talk about Him for a moment- in my personal studies I am at 3 Ne. and I am reading the saviors words to the people in the Americas when He appeaed after His crucifiction. I have LOVED starting my day of with reading His words- it has softened my heart, inspired my mind and ennobled my soul to read His words- that is why the Book of Mormon is so amazing- we have so much more of His words and teachings straight from His mouth...I have most especially been touched to read how frequently and easily the Savior wept. Hope you are having a merry christmas season so far- I love being a missionary during this time of year. I love how Christ centered everyone is now- my heart is really touched and I am excited to serve the people and sister missionaries in Tallahassee- I have a feeling much awaits me there :) love you guys.

Sis. B

Thanksgiving

Dearest family-

I hope you all had a very good thanksgiving! you will be very entertained to hear that we had 3 thanksgiving dinners!! lol AND i had my very first deep fried turkey- a southern favorite at thanksgiving it was pretty cool to watch him make it- and not gonna  lie! it was amazingly delicious- i just didn't eat the fried part lol but all in all it was a really great thanksgiving. we had our second dinner at the fillmores house with the barclays (both of their husbands are deployed right now) and the Magers came too!! so that was a dream come true, to have thanksgiving with a family being baptized this week :) what a blessing.

 me and sister schmidt made a really cute activity /lesson to bring into the homes we went to- we cute out a tree and a bunch of leaves we drew, and then we had all the families write what they are thankful for and put the leaves on the tree- everyone loved it! very fun to be a missionary during the holidays- i love seeing all the christmas decorations. We got to help lots of people cook and even do a little christmas decorating which is good bc we have no decorations in our apartment. (which is fine bc we are NEVER home always out working:) 

Transfers are next monday. so  will know where i am going in a week and then on wednesday the 11th i will move there. I know this is my last week so i am trying to really savor every little thing, person place and experience. This week is just us seeing all the people i want to say goodbye to and have one last lesson and bear my testimony to them. we have Lisa's baptism this saturday at 11 am but her husband's date is being moved to Januay 2th- its really cool to pray about when someone should be baptized and then to have a clear and specific date come to your mind immediately after- its just cool to see how the spirit works. 

   So this sunday i bore my testimony in Gulf Breeze for the last time- i focused on the savior's love for each of us and of our divinity and identity as children of God. Elder Sanders bore his last testimony too- really powerful- on the atonement and repentance. really powerful. I have loved Gulf Breeze. this morning we went running on the beach and a little miracle happened- a tender mercy- i have been looking for a whole sand dollar for the past 10 months- i have never been able to find one that isnt chipped or broken- well this morning as we were running on the beach, i was so overwhelmed by the beauty and so grateful to be there and marvelling all over again about the fact that I am 2/3 done with my mission here in Florida...so surreal...and i thought to myself, "I never did find a sand dollar...i only have one more monday on the beach to find one..." then i looked down and to my astonishment- there was a perfect pristine whole sand dollar in the sand!! I found one just in time!! that is always how the lord works....he lets us be tried and pushes us to the very end- then if we endure it well and hold out faithful- he always delivers. God always keeps his promises to the faithful. anyways i was overjoyed!! haha i have it and took a picture of it along with some other amazing shells i found and kept from the beach today. today was warm. 75 degrees! gotta love florida....I have a lot of pictures for you guys. 

Last night we watched the Joseph smith movie with Carla and it was almost like a movie night!! then we read General conference talks with her on motherhood and womanhood and honoring our moral authority- I really have a testimony of that.
Preparing to leave is difficult- i dont think about it- just enjoy the time i have. dont even want to talk about it really :( it just is what it  is- we are the lords servants we go where he needs us. and anyways i feel really fulfilled here- i know my work here is done and i cannot express how good that feels. peace. all the ward members are really sad and our meal calendar is packed lol everyone wants to have us over before i leave which really touches me and means a lot...i really love all these people i really do. I know that there are more people, experiences adventures, relationships, joys, miracles nd mountains to climb ahead though! that is exciting! and i know the Lord will lead me as he has in the past- so i am at peace. leaving certain people i am very attatched to is.....difficult. truly- a trial of my faith, discipline, obedience, and submission of my will to His- but I have to trust Him- i have no reason not to...I know He wants me to trust him so I am really learning how to let things go and just be more trusting in my Heavenly Father with my heart, hopes, dreams, desires, goals, and life. I want you all to know how grateful I am for you- this gospel- the scriptures that have been preserved over the course of sooo many years- it is a miracle we have the book of mormon truly. I am grateful to be serving as a full time missionary for our father in Heaven- i am forever grateful for the knowledge I have of His eternal plan,that helps me to be motivated and strengthened to live my way in such a way that will lead to attaining eternal goals- i want as many people to have that same knowledge and assurance and that is why i am out here and that is why I love what i am doing. I am grateful God is so patient with me...I hop eto learn all of the lessons He has for me wel, to be able to be fullly used by him, and to be able to have the strength to endure. I love you all so much- and Kristen- your letter meant the world to me!! I love you! thank you so much!! Love you all!!

much Love- sis b.

If We Listen He Will Lead

Dear Family-

 

Some pretty amazing things happened- first off- best part of the week!!! Carla (name changed). Carla is the 19 yr old girl who has the beautiful little 10 month old. she is a total alcholic. which is tragic because she is AMAZING. so beautiful- i love her so much and see so much potential in her. always did. she has been severely abused and started drinking at age 12 which led to a plethora of other things that have let her rotting in a trailer park with no car. she is so much more than that. when i met her i heard god telling me- look at what she's meant to be! I saw it- then He told me- now help her see it too!! that has been my mission ever since. I love her fiercely. well- weeks ago while I was reading the scriptures and studying for another investigator- the Lord led me a different way- I was led to all of these powerful scriptures HAND PICKED for Carla- given to me all throughout the scriptures in a specific order that laid it all out perfectly- the experience left me in tears and in awe- I wrote them all down for her in the right order and at the end wrote- What is God trying to tell you? Man is he feeling after her! 

well weeks have gone by with us not being able to share them with her- finally this friday the opportunity came- we read them with her- she was stunned- they carried straight to her heart she had tears in her eyes at the end and said, "God just isnt giving up on me!" it was amazing. she then got really emotional and said to me, "you can't leave me! youre the first good person in my life who actually believes in me and hasn't given up on me! you dont judge me- so i can actually talk to you. You know all my secrets- you cant leave me youre the only one who can save me!" then she totally crumpled into tears- i totally broke me down in tears too- i just held her and told her that yes I do believe in her- but I am not the one who can save her its Jesus Christ who saves, and its God who sent me- and if she will turn to them they will help her all the way through if he will just start living the commandments again. I promised her I would never forget her either and always stay in touch- she just looked at me and said, "I know I knew you before. that's why i let you in my house even though i was doing drugs and my life was a mess I had to let you in. Youre going to save me. You already have." 

         well-  Carla came to church this sunday and sat with me the whole time. Carla got a blessing after church from the elders and hugged me the whole time. Carla is going to be ok. God has a plan for her!! Id come all the way out here just for her. how amazing this work is...I am fulfilled nd glory in God who is mighty to save- how He knows us all!! 2nd miracle is kathryn- a woman i had felt prompted to see for weeks after seeing her just briefly at Relief Society for the first time- we finally saw her even though she is in the Elders area- turns out the Spirit was nagging me or a reason- she let us right in and we had an incredible lesson. She is habvong her first baby after many trials- she showed us all her baby stuff and really opened up to us even though she is normally very shy and the elders havent been able to get in. then at the end after the prayer- she smiled with complete peace and said- sisters- thank you for coming. I needed that." The spirit knows all! If we just listen to Him He will lead us to those who need us. I am out of time but know that I love you all. I cant wait to see you all again!

 

love sis b

Mager Miracle

Dear Family-

I know this is my last transfer here in Gulf Breeze- I know it. I can feel it- the lord has definitely let me know which is good because I really extra savor, treasure, enjoy and love every minute I have here. I randomly found an old list of goals I had made when I first got to this area 7 months ago- I remembered the feelings of pressure and stress I had as I made those goals- feeling slightly overwhelmed and unsure I could fulfill all the tasks, goals, and expectations- but I prayerfully made them and wrote them down. Well- to my deep joy- i was able to mark and check off EVERY SINGLE ONE of those goals I had made so long ago- every one! I was so touched, because I forgot I even made this list- that I cried and knelt down immediately to thank the lord in deep gratitude and..relief. I know it was a tender mercy that I found this list- God wanted me to know He is pleased with me and my service here and He wanted me to see how, with Him and only Him, I had been able to reach and surpass every goal I set all those months ago. What a blessing. As I prayed in gratitude more blessings came to my mind and my heart was full of joy as various faces, names, experiences, and people came into my mind. How the Lord has blessed me! How hard it has been- everything I have!- but how WORTH IT. 

  This Wednesday we got an unexpected call from Bishop, "Sisters" he said, I have a family here in my office looking for the truth. You need to teach it to them. Can we all meet tomorrow at 3?" get this- Alisa and William Magers are their names- they have a 7 yr old son Brian and a 2 yr old daughter Isabella. Alisa had been in jail just 3 days prior, and during her time there she kept hearing about the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints- she felt pulled and desirous to know more- she asked all the women around her if they knew anything about that church- no one really did, or they told her untruths but none of that threw her- she still felt the prompting and pull to learn more. She wanted to change her life. Immediately upon being released she did research and found the website- she looked up the nearest church building- ours- just down the street from their home. They don't have a car- so that little family walked to our church that wednesday night- and who should be sitting outside? Bishop. Bishop Clark who has also been praying and fasting for missionary opportunities. Well once again Alisa felt prompted, even though she didnt know why- to "talk to the man in the car" so dragging her family- she did- and he let them into the church and talked with them then called us. :D !!!!!!! Isn't that a miracle?!!!!! Well we met with them that next day and the second I saw her I gave her the biggest hug of her life!! haha I loved her instantly!! WE taught that little family ion the church with bishop there and even gave them a church tour after and sang them a hymn. When Alisa walked into the relief society room she cried- she didnt know why- but she just "felt a great warmth" and that was before we even told her what the room was!! 

          The lord is truly feeling after her- she is so in tune to the Spirit! We gave them a Book of Mormon and committed them to read 2 Ne. 31 on the Doctrine of Christ. We set another appointment with them with Bishop for Saturday morning. WELL that lesson we talked about baptism- the priesthood, the Book of Mormon- the Spirit was so strong and Bishop told her to pray to know if the BOM is truly of God- her response? "Oh sir- I already have. It's true." :D I have never heard such a response before on my mission- incredible! Bishop was dumbfounded and just looked at us and we all started laughing haha that's amazing!! we said- well at the end I felt prompted to extend her the baptismal commitment for Dec. 7th (we had previously prayed about this as a companionship) but I told God- are you sure? I have never committed someone to be baptized on the second lesson!! what did the spirit tell me? DO IT. "Alisa-" I said immediately after the prompting- "When you come to know that the priesthood authority has been restored and is found within this church, the same way you came to know the Book of Mormon is true through prayer, will you agree to follow the saviors example and be baptized by someone holding that priesthood authority?" her response- "I will." "Sister Mager we've prayed about it and felt strongly that Dec. 7th is the day for you to be baptized- will you commit to prepare yourself to be ready for this date and we will help you and be beside you every step of the way?" "will you still be here then?" "Yes we will!" "Then yes! I will. I will." :D miracle. unreal. we left that house feeling so surreal....When we got home I went straight to my knees and we both did, and as a companionship we prayed, and I thanked god from the bottom of my heart! God plucks up this woman, this precious little family and places them directly in our path and under our stewardship- WHAT A BLESSING!! HOW BLOWN AWAY I AM AT THE FORESIGHT OF GOD! 

Sitting with the Magers in church this sunday- I felt the spirit so strongly I cried once again. I was sitting next to little 7 yr old Brian who is the most meek and lowly child I have ever met- everytime we prayed he bowed his head and closed his eyes. He soaked it all in- he even sang the hymns he didn't know. he smelled like cigarette smoke- so I cried while I sat there whispering stories of Jesus in his ear, and explaining to him what the sacrament was, because everytime I finished a story I would whisper to Him, "Do you want another?" and he would just sit there silently and nod his head time and time again. Then we sang "families can be together forever" and I thought my hear would burst- alisa was tearing up and I was in awe and trying hard to wrap my mortal mind around what was taking place and what God was allowing me to be a part of- I could only cry and feel warmth warmth warmth warmth warmth.

 A mission is very hard. yes. some things very unpleasant yes- worth it? I THINK SO. How I have been blessed...how I have been blessed. Brian LOVED PRIMARY. He came running up to me after and said, "I love church" perfectly calm and smiling. Then the family walked home- happier than I have ever seen them. So that family is my Mager miracle. They have a very rough life and past- please family! pray for them by name each night please! we can get them baptized and surrounded by love and support, but the adversary is also at work- so please- pray for them and for us to be the missionaries they need! I love you all very much.

Yesterday we also had a lesson with the 16 yr old girl again. She has gone through many trials. abuse. neglect. instability. anxiety. anorexia. I love this girl fiercely and know How God feel about her- I believe in her and know the great blessings god has in store for her after all her suffering.I know its my job to teach her that. yesterday we had a special lesson on temples and eternal marriage- I tell you that girl came alive!!! she was sitting on the edge of her seat!! I told her every great true love story I know (because we all know how I collect those:) I shared my burning testimony with her how god has a plan for her and part of that plan is a man- we talked all about it and the whole mood in the house changed she was ignited! haha. bearing my testimony of true love- of temple marriage- of the sacredness and eternal nature of families, fatherhood, motherhood, husband, wife, and how the Lord honors spiritual preparation- FILLS MY SOUL WITH JOY! I never feel more fulfilled than when I share my knowledge and assurance of these truths- I swear my purpose on earth is just to share that  fire with as many young girls and people as possible- because man she felt it the spirit was there! we talked of many other things, scriptures, prayer- but at the end she just sat there smiling- peace. then she said, "tell me about the life you see for me." I told her- in detail- vivid detail- she just listened, glowing, smiling, believing every word, I could see empowerment settling into her heart and taking root in her soul- and that at the end I said, "Jaecy- God proves the faithful right. work is the process by which dreams become reality- so do the work now- this can and will be yours- i know it- so let this dream fuel you and motivate you to do everything in your power to make it a reality and the Lord will do the rest." its true. i know its true. and it will be the same for me. I love you family- write soon okay? :) had a good run to the beach today and thought of how much y'all would LOVE IT.

all my love <3 sister b

"The Time is Far Spent" Hymn 266

Dear Family-

Happy Halloween!! Hope you guys had a good and cozy one!

This week was a trip! By trip- I mean lots of hard work, trying times, with intermingled miracles and deep joys that ultimately lead to even greater joys and showing forth of God's power. 

Can I just say? THE REALITY OF GOD IS REAL. I am learning why it is so important for life to be imperfect, situations to be less than desirable, unknowns rampant, physical pain, emotional let downs on and on and on- because in alllllll of these weaknesses- IF WE TURN TO GOD IN MIGHTY PRAYER with faith and then go forward, they will  ALL work together for our good and they ALL have a higher purpose that we didn't grasp before. If you feel a presence of one or more of these things in your life- don't be discouraged- take heart, because God has a plan for you through it all, and through our weaknesses of this fallen world and our fallen state- HE MAKES STRENGTHS! HE WORKS MIRACLES! faith precedes the miracle though- so have faith. I am learning to trust God. with my life. my future. my problems. my desires. my dreams. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a scripture I committed to memory last night, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and HE SHALL DIRECT THY PATHS."

       believe that- I know that is a major lesson God wants me to internalize and understand deep in my heart, and He is using my mission to teach me that truth. Now to share some of those miraculous experiences with you :)

         Our investigator Jessica came to church again this sunday! and this time she brought all 4 of her kids! we introduced them to the primary president and that was such a good experience for me- so gratifying and cool to bring people into the church and get them all settled in with capable teachers and loving members. We also had a lesson on the Restoration and the Priesthood with her this week, so in order to help her to better understand the priesthood we thought it would be good for her to receive a priesthood blessing! She wanted to and it went beautifully, another really good experience, the Spirit was very strong. 

       Then on Friday we had an amazing lesson with John Smith- an 80 yr old man who is strict Lutheran, and has been a minister for many years. He is VERYYYYYY knowledgeable about the Bible, and truly a man of great faith I so respect him for that. he is the neighbor to one of our ward members and he invited us over for a lesson with her there too because he had some "questions" for us- which here in the south is code for trying to debate or challenge our beliefs- so me and my companion were VERY prayerful before going to this appointment. We are teachers not debaters- our purpose is invite the spirit- so after our many prayers and me doing a lot of personal pondering, I felt at peace with the resolve that all we would do and focus on is having the spirit with us and allowing him to feel that. If the Spirit is there? I have no fear. of anything. So I was calm and peaceful and confident going into that lesson. we talked to sis. Mullkin before going over with her to his house and prayed with her too- and that was that. well- we get there and had small talk,friendly convo, and then we got to it he said, "well sisters I have some questions for you. I know what you do and I know you are in the throws of missionary work and you see a lot of people and have I imagine a lot of experiences, so, my question is- who is Jesus Christ to you? what is your response to who Jesus is?" 

       The question was just hanging in the air- how do you answer such a question? what response was he looking for? how do I even begin to answer such a broad  and all encompassing question? Who is Jesus Christ....I had an immediate and automatic rush of thoughts and emotions when he said the saviors name- but i paid attention to how I felt and realized I was feeling the spirit- I felt warm all over and tears just came rushing to my eyes. I knew exactly how to answer that question- I simply bore my testimony. I told him how I have come to know my Savior through my life experiences. shared how I have had to rely on him. shared how I have seen people differently on the mission and felt boundless love for them because I was able to see them as HE DOES- THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT PEOPLE! The truth is, I cant tell you everything I said because I don't remember- it was so spirit led. I talked of the atonement- but most of all I testified of His love for people, for us, for me, because that is what I think of and am in AWE of when I think of Christ. I cannot speak of Christ, especially as a representative of Him right now, without tears in my eyes. His patience and condescension for me- His example- His comfort. His grace. his meekness, his lonely, beautiful, painful, and perfect life. Then I finished by saying, "that is who Christ is to me." I am glad he asked such a beautiful question- with a question like that- how can the spirit NOT abound? thanks to him, he made it easy for us to invite the spirit . After I finished, or rather the spirit did, the whole room was silent- he just looked at me- but this time it was with a different tone- the whole spirit in the house changed. the spirit was there, I knew it. He just looked at me then he smiled- there was such light and softness in his eyes now- he smiled and said in a really soft voice, "thank you."              His next question was, "How do you teach you gain salvation?" Instantly- the doctrine of Christ was brought to my mind, again i know full well that the spirit allowed me to have such clarity of mind and brought everything to my remembrance right when i needed it- I explained and outlined what we believe: faith in christ, repentance through atonement, baptism the gateway, then RECEIVING the Holy Ghost, then enduring to the end. again he was touched and impressed by the spirit, he just looked at me when i finished and then said, "you're going to bless a lot of lives." He just sat looking at me studying my face and smiling, then studying my companions face- our "challenger" had been transformed to our dear friend thanks to the spirit! We then talked openly and freely of various spiritual experiences we have experienced, we listened to his stories, we laughed, then he told us of miracles he had seen throughout his life- again the spirit prompted me to read a passage from mormon 9:15-19 with him from the BOM. I thought, I can't do that! sis. Mullikin had warned us that the BOM was a sore spot for him and he previously rejected it when she offered- but the prompting came again, this time with the thought, if we read it out loud to him, then he can feel the spirit, and then he will be more likely to accept it if he experiences and identifies feeling peace with reading it- without hesitation I flipped open to it, I made sure to emphasize that what we were about to read was from the Book of Mormon- he listened- I read- wow! those are some beautiful verses! they are the verses that talk about how god is a god of miracles and an unchangeable being- the room was so still, even his dogs didn't make a peep. After I finished- he looked up and had tears in his eyes- it was beautiful. He wiped his eyes and said, "thank you. thank you." 

       The power of that book is astounding!! it is palpable- i have such a testimony that the Book of Mormon is of God, and He truly uses scripture to communicate with us as His children here on earth. After that we sang a hymn, because he loves music. At the end of the lesson I felt prompted to offer him a Book of Mormon- i was afraid too...i shrank to do it because i didnt know how he would respond or what i would say, but the prompting came again and then i thought- i am the Lord's missionary! He will give me the words to say- I felt i just needed to be really honest with him so i said, "Mr. Smith- you are clearly a man of great faith. We have really felt the spirit here with you today- we don't want to be pushy, but sir I just can't leave here without offering you the Book of Mormon again and inviting you to read it on your own time. We fully respect love and cherish the Bible and know it is God's word, the Book of Mormon is simply another testament of Jesus Christ.They truly do support each other. i promise you will feel the Spirit of it as you read it, just as we did when reading from it a moment ago. So mr. Smith, will you accept a book of Mormon and read it, truly read it?" He shifted in his chair and leaned over to me and looked me straight in the eyes- "I will." he said, "I will because I am familiar with the spirit and how it works and I will know if this book is true by how i feel. I felt the spirit when you read that passage- so because of that- I will. I'll read it." wow. wow. cool. so yeah- we read the intro with him and he listened- we read moroni's promise- he smiled a warm and genuine smile- He took it and said again, "I'll read this. I'm not afraid to read this." He was just so happy! We all were! then at the end sister mullikin told him about church and he said, "I would be willing to come just to see the glow on these two faces!" (pointing to us) he said, "Just look at their faces! You can tell these ladies know god by the look on their faces. they glow." The spirit is amazing! he just thanked us profusely and kept saying what an amazing experience it was. afterwards me and sis. schmidt just sat in the car and reveled in the spirit! it was such an amazing experience and I really learned that i can rely on the lord and the Spirit in all things.

           We also had a lesson with our investigator Dion this week- we have a lot of work ahead of us to truly get him ready for baptism and keep having some opposition with getting to meet with him- but man do i love that boy! and he still wants to do it! so we will do whatever it takes to meet with him each week and help him prepare himself for baptism. So please keep him in your prayers ok family? his date is Nov. 30th. and we prayed about it and want to set Jessicas baptismal date for Dec. 7th :) pray for them family and us so that we can be the missionary's God and these people need us to be! i need all the help i can Get from on High. I am nothing without it, of that I am sure. 

        Anyway- halloween was..weird haha we had to be in by 7 so i just crashed and we had an early bed time, but we did carve a pumpkin at a members home. I have been battling feeling sick and queasy and have a huge loss of appetite so im not sure whats wrong but fall back and the extra hour of sleep is really helping! I love it :) I just am happy and really love these people. oh! and we had a ward halloween party, which went GREAT because we had our investigator candy come with her kids and we had 3 other families invite nonmember families so I was in heaven networking and talking to all the potential investigators! it was great. I love you guys. Hope you are all doing well.

Much Love <3

sister b

Halloween Party

Me and Sister Schmidt

All our Halloween decor haha

"He must increase but I must decrease." John 3:30

Dear Family-

 first off this transfer....nothing changed! I am actually going to be staying with my companion for longer than 1 transfer for the first time ever!! that also means I get to be here in Gulf Breeze with the people I love so dearly for Thanksgiving :) slightly stoked for that. several families have already "claimed us" for thanksgiving dinner haha what an honor! Both our elders are staying too.

second- 

      Jared I have to talk to you- you have been on my mind I felt really prompted to tell you 1) I love you and 2) the best thing you can do to prepare for your mission is learn to trust in the Lord. Rely on Him. Turn to Him in every decision you make- that is the best thing you can do to prepare for a mission because that trust is kind of what everything else hinges on- Trust that He knows what He is doing with your life and seek Him out and every important decision. Learn how He responds or "talks back" to you- if you can learn how to recognize, receive, and follow revelation, even when it isn't what you are thinking or desiring in the moment- you will be SO BLESSED as a missionary. Trust in God. Put your life in His hands and obey and be who He wants you to be. no matter what. 3) you are going to be the best husband, dad and missionary ever. I mean that. I have been thinking about you in all those roles and thinking to myself- "how loving and well suited he is- he will fulfill all those roles with such love." How do i know that? because you are the greatest brother- so loving you have always been so loving to me and just really made me feel loved- so i really love you for that. 

     Good men are really important and needed in this world Jared. i am glad and I know that you will be the kind of man this world so needs. Just love everyone. everyone. everyone needs kindness especially coming from young men. It is so rare. Dad is a great example of this to us. Dad- I love you so much. Man I just think the world of you.

 

       This Sunday was the Primary Program and WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I have felt the Spirit in my life that strongly but rarely- truly- it was one of the most spiritual experiences of my entire 21 years of life. First off- our investigator Jessica came to church and had an incredible experience- she was so receptive and so many members in the ward just walked right up to her and enveloped her in love she told me, "I feel like I belong here." it really put a lump in my throat to see the members i love so dearly reaching out to our investigator and being such great saints, missionaries, and disciples of christ- that was a sweet moment for me because I know that is the direction of this church now- member missionary work. That is what the prophet has revealed so to be a part of that work and witness it- its moving! after church she said she wanted to know how she could get the "gift of the Holy ghost" and we were beaming! we have an appointment with her tomorrow to talk about that :) 

         Then our investigator Autumn who is 10 years old- she had a part in the primary program- and her dad came to church to watch! We also had 3 less actives come to church- what a blessing that was. so already before the meeting even began i was feeling "tender hearted". then when all the kids went up there and started singing I felt the spirit so strong and was so touched because I realized just how many little faces and little kids up there were ones that I have taught, and loved for the past 6 months now- I watched the faces of all their families watching their kids- my heart felt too big for my chest i have never felt such a burning and such deep love! I thought of chase and Max- and how much I love them. I thought of my siblings and when they were all little and how much I love them and the people they are growing up to be. I counted every little face up there I know and have taught. I counted 25. I felt so overwhelmed. 

        One little boy we have been teaching Ari- his mom isnt a member and she wasn't there. We have been trying to teach her for the past 6 months and she is softening but still not there- well seeing his dad sitting there alone in the pew watching him with so much joy just broke my heart! I wanted her to be there! I wanted them to be there together as a family! 

       I just looked at that boy and cried and cried- i really get it now- this life is all about families. eternal families. Being together forever. I cant wait to have a family of my own- but looking at all those kids i love them like they are my own! I COULD NOT STOP CRYING. I have never in my life felt that before to that degree- it was downright overwhelming- glorious- but overwhelming. I know my time will come. But for now I have to be focused with helping other families be together forever. I can do that. Doing so will make my own joy more complete when I know I have done all that Heavenly Father wants me to do now while i am an independent unit. For the first time though- I felt homesick. That is the only time I have felt very much far away in Florida- far away from my family. I just wish you could have experienced that with me and been there with me to share what i was feeling. That was the best primary program ever. In that meeting I felt God's love- through the voices of little children that I have taught the gospel too singing about eternal families. I felt Gods love that day and it floored me. Then after tons of the kids came running to me and hugged me, giving me pictures and notes and seashells. haha i just cried and cried and none of them knew why! i barely knew why!  one little girl was hugging my skirt (6 years old, kenzie is her name) and then she just looked up at me for like 5 min clinging to me and smiling. and said, "I love you sister b" haha i just cried and cried and felt so much love. God has blessed me. I am very grateful for the people in my life because of my mission. God has blessed me. Little children are sacred. fathers are sacred. mothers are sacred. families are sacred. I hope every one of those kids stays true and faithful, and protected, and marries in the temple like they were singing about. I hope the world doesn't hurt them but rather they light up and uplift the world.

 

This week we had a powerful lesson with our investigator Steve on the power of the priesthood. we had prayed and pondered many days over what we needed to teach him about that would motivate him to want to learn more- and understand that this gospel is in fact true and can bless him! the answer came to me while studying one morning- the priesthood! he needs to understand the priesthood, I spent many mornings devoting my studies to him. I feel lacking in my knowledge of the priesthood- i felt inadaquate to teach it- but then i thought- i am the lord's missionary- He can instruct me and lead me to know how to teach this principle because Steve is His son and I know this is what He wants him to know! SO individually i studied and as a companionship we studied- and finally yesterday- we had the lesson. We had his son in law join us too to add the power of his testimony. we prayed before the lesson. I still felt so nervous, so nervous, intimadated- but i trusted that god would provide and I knew we had prepared to the utmost degree! so i knew we could now rely on the Lord to do the rest- well family guess what- the lesson went GREAT. man i am tearing up recalling what we all experienced in that lesson- at the end- the spirit whispered to me JUST WHAT TO SAY. I said it- I told him how the Lord trusts him with this authority- he desires him to hold this authority- so he can use it to bless his family's life and anyone else close to him in his life- I told him again how god trusts and desires him to hold this power. "Bro. T" I said, "This is what the restored gospel of Jesus Christ holds for you." silence. we all just sat and felt the power and bounty of the spirit there. tears filled Steve's eyes and trickled down his face. (a very big deal- he is an older man, rarely shows emotion- but oh how good he is! how we love him!) His wife took his hand and she just cried but they didnt say a word. Oh god answered our prayers!!! he felt it. it was undeniable. afterwards we testified that what he just experienced was the spirit- testifying to him that it was true. Pray for him family-  pray his heart will be softened and he will know, get his answer, that this church is true. 

       Many other things happened this week- it started off very hard- day after day many things did not go as planned and it was very difficult- but through it me and sis. scmidt kept saying- we have faith! there is no such thing as wasted effort! it will all come through! but i confess it was hard and i experienced some trying lows.              Jared- on your mission you will have moments when you look in the mirror and think- I cant do this- i am exhausted. I want to go home.- even the best missionary feels that- but Jared in those moments that is when you pray with everything you have! You tell god you in your own strength are spent and depleted- but TRUST IN HIM ANYWAY and EVERY TIME He will sustain you and increase your "spiritual stamina resilience and resolve." I know this because i have lived this- i have been there many times but every time i ask God- make me more than i am- give me strength beyond my own so i can rise to the responsibilities and meet the needs of everyone- and EVERY TIME somehow- he strengthens me- and that is the miracle and power of faith and trust. it gives us the power to ENDURE. well- saturday the blessings came! every person was home that we planned to see and tried to see all week and all the lessons went well. Perseverance! that is what is needed! you cant ever give up! and then if you prove faithful even without results- god ALWAYS pulls through and answers prayer in His time. Dion came to a baptism but we have to move his baptismal date back to the 30th- he is not ready just yet. pray for him. we did some tracting and found 2 new people interested :) tracting is hard- rejection is hard- but its worth it when you find the one!

 

Family i love you. Mom- thank you so much for the skirt i really do love it! and I got your package- thank you :) you are all in my prayers thoughts and heart. the weather here is AMAZING - october is the time to visit Florida! I want to end with this scripture, Heleman 10:4-5, 

"^aBlessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with ^bunwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine ^cown life, but hast sought my ^dwill, and to keep my commandments.5 And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that ^aall things shall be ^bdone unto thee according to thy ^cword, for thou shalt ^dnot ask that which is contrary to my will."

 Bishop clark sent us this scripture in a text except he substituted our names for Nephi's- I cannot tell you how much that meant to me and how much i needed that in the throws of the initially very trying week. but in the end miracles ensued- how amazing a mission is!! I have a testimony of this gospel. I glory in it and i testify of the temporary nature of this life and our circumstances- and the eternal nature of our spirits, families, and potential.
All my love
Sister Bertoldo