Dear Family <3
It's hard being away at christmas yes- BUT it IS worth it- I truly know that I am where I need to be, and I love it- I know this is where i need to be right now. Me and my comp have planned a full day of glorious work visiting people who are without family on christmas eve and christmas day- so both days we will rise and go to work like every other day- we have decided not to spend it with members and relaxing and celebrating- we have decided the best way to honor our Savior during this precious time we represent Him is to spend that day working and serving His children, "the fruit that hangs low". We have a lot of opportunity for that here in Tally too, there are so many who have nothing- one old woman Eulys, said she will be home alone on Christmas, we looked at each other and said, "no you won't! we will be here with our scriptures, and a christmas message on Christmas day!" she was so excited...we are seeing another woman Kim with disabilities who is alone, and many others.
I want you all to know I have truly been pondering in my heart the gift I want to give my Savior this Christmas...I am giving Him the best thing I have to offer Him because it is the hardest thing for me to give- He already has my heart...but the gift I am giving Him this Christmas is my WILL. I am very strong willed, and like to have control of my surroundings but I know that I have given everything else but my will and desire to have my way in certain things, but after much studying, prayer, pondering and spiritual experiences- I relinquish that and give my will fully to Him and seek to do His will in all things. That is why I am not homesick, or focused on relaxing on Christmas- I just want to do what He would do if He were here! I'm a missionary! That's my job and I love it.
Also- we are being so blessed- our investigator LawShawn came to church again and we met with her 2 times this week (restoration and BOM is what we taught). we committed her to be baptized on January 18th!! she is seeing miracles in her life- she is reading the BOM everday! we are also going to begin teaching her boyfriend. Our investigator Peggy received a priesthood blessing for the first time and came to church for the first time and surprised us!! So much progression going on with so many people- the Lord is working miracles through us and through these people. I trust Him fully. I do- that is also why I am at peace giving Him my will- its truly the finest offering I have ever given Him- He's been waiting for some time. i thought going on a mission was giving Him my will- now I see that was only the beginning. I am now more easily entreated, more patient, more at peace, more trusting-about a million other things- I am amazed at how He's refining me- I know I have lots more to go, but now I know obedience is how its done so I have peace for the future and the present because He has shown me His power time and time again. My prayers are even different now. when expectations or situations are asked of me that make me feel overwhelmed/ or are unknown, instead of stressing or questioning I just go straight to Him and tell Him I will do it, I just need Him to be with me and change/strengthen me so I can- and then I just do it. Without questioning or even knowing how it will work out- I just trust and somehow every time it goes even better than I could have imagined!! Like nephi 3:7 says- God never asks something of us without providing a way for us to accomplish it. I have a testimony of that and He is letting me put that to the test!
This week we had our 1/2 mission conference- it was such a spiritual experience. All the missionary's were there and President and our mission presidency- there was a Christmas program put on by any missionaries who had a talent to share- well I was on there as the last performer, singning "Silent Night" with Sis. Gossling playing the piano for me. We hadn't had any time to practice bc I was transferred away from her, and I gave her my only sheet music so I was flying blind with only my little hymn book! yeah- I was stressing. I realized all I cared about was being able to bring the Spirit there so I prayed for that and then all fear left me only peace calm and faith remained- even though i still had no sheet music, or practice- I knew that God was with me as was the Spirit and with that I knew I couldn't fail. Walking up there I and looking at the 100+ missionaries I felt complete calm and was bursting with a desire to sing! Well- i have never sung like that before- what came out was not my own it was a very spiritual experience for me- I felt I could barely contain all the power i felt inside me from on high! I have never felt so full of the Spirit. I give it all to God- and that experience only taught me again that I dont need to rely on me, I dont matter half as much as what God can make of me- what a thing He's teaching me! even through one simple silly singing performance.
I also had my first exchange with a sister, who came to my area for training, I was her comp for the day- I was nervous bc I have only been here for a week and now I had to drive around big highways and lead out in this enormous area?! overwhelming- so what did i do? I thought about my singing experience and knew I was unprepared- but I also knew that I was doing what my Heavenly father called me to do, so if i am trying to do His will no matter how impossible or unknown the task may seem- I knew I was entitled to His help. I thought of Nephi and what He did when God asked Him to build a ship without any tools! So I didnt stress or question- I just prayed and told God I trusted Him and asked Him to lead me and lead our day just like He has in times past. I told Him I trusted Him and that any success we had that day I would give to Him. WELL family I am here to tell you that that day on the exchange with Sis. Fuja (shes only been out 4 months but is awesome!) went amazingly! We shared some of the most spiritual expereinces I have ever had on my mission together that day! we found 4 new investigators and placed 4 Book of Mormons in one day!! we had amazing lessons, one every hour of the day, and afterwards sis. Fuja said she has never had such a spiritual experience on her mission as she did today- we met a girl Ciara who was referral who is handicapped and so sweet, and her niece harmony is AMAZING! She joined us in our lesson and said, "this is more than just a church, this is Christ's home." me and sis. Fuja just looked at each other and tears filled our eyes. I have never heard such a response after reading the BOM introduction- it was choice. She then said, 'I already know this book is true" and she took notes on everything we taught! God led that day IMMACULATELY.
I would go on and on but time is short- one funny thing- we taught this lady Emily and she was such a hoot she lives in a rough neighborhood and every other word out of her mouth was, "bless you chyle! Bless you chyle!" or randomly, "praise the lord praise the lord!" just totally randomly throughout the lesson hahaha it was hilarious i love these people. anyways so yeah things are going great, but pray for me! I have never worked so hard in my life but what miracles we see...thank you so much for the package!! It was so exciting seeing presents- it doesnt really feel like christmas to me I just feel like a missionary so that was really fun to open something that had my name on it and was actually for me- it felt weird! I love you guys so much. I have tons of pictures I need to send...eventually I will. did you get my christmas card? :) love yall.
sis. B
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